Time for an Update

Its been nearly a year since I have posted in my blog, my main reason for stopping the posts was because...well...I lost myself.

In March 2013 I left my husband, moved out of our house and went on a journey to "find myself".  At this time I had undergone Chemo, had a complete Left Mastectomy, was off work for a year and had since returned.  And during all of this I couldn't help feeling that I no longer knew who I was, that there had to be more to my life than what I was currently experiencing.  The truth is...in finding myself, I found the worst in myself.

I was unfaithful to my husband before leaving, taking him for granted and forgetting the fact that he was the man who stood beside me through it all, watching me suffer during surgery, hair loss, mixed emotions and illness.  I became selfish and self destructive, I left my husband, I stopped caring about myself, about others around me and about the life that I was living.

I wont go into much about my year of finding the worst in myself but I will tell you where I am at now...

First I had to pull my head out of my ass.  I realized that the people who TRULY care about you will be waiting for the real you to return.  I learned that small things in life such as an immaculately clean house, laundry on the floor or dishes in the sink is not anything to get angry at because that is not what life is about and it is deffinatly not something that should put a strain on your relationship.  I learned that mom's and dad's always love their daughters unconditionally and always support them in the rough patches through their life, and YES...they are usually right!  I learned that nobody should go through hardtimes alone, even if you feel like you don't want anyone around, don't push them away. Finally, I learned that sometimes on a journey to find yourself, in the end, you find out that you were right where you belonged to begin with.