Moto of the Day: Hair is a blessing, if you have it...DO IT
October 22, 2011
October 15, 2011
Life's Healers
My days are spent resisting the urge to clean, cook and do anything that involves lifting over five pounds. This is without a doubt one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life...to hold myself back! People ask how I am feeling and the only answer I have is I am feeling great, but I am frustrated! Frustrated at my lack of mobility and dependency on others. While I know they are there for me and I cannot thank them enough, I am the one that always seems to be the glue.
I can tell you this, the thing that keeps me going throughout the day are my two babies! My mello I(pictured) and my shadow who sit and talk to me all day long and never leave my side. Dogs have an amazing ability to heal and make the soul feel at ease.
If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell.
~Lance Armstrong
The unveiling of the Non-Breast
Home from the hospital and unsure of what to think about what may be under this gauze. One thing I know is that every time I move my non existent nipple is causing me some severe pain! Everyone thinks its rather humerus when I cry "UUUGHHH MY NIPPLE!"
Its 9:00 at night and I am finally ready to reveal what is under the dressing to myself, my family, and my husband. My mom and I go to the washroom and take the dressing off. I am AMAZED, rather intrigued actually and a part of me even thinks its rather beautiful. This is a beautiful thing, this is health!
I call Dave in and ask him if he is ready and he says yes. When I open my nightgown and reveal it to him he says "wow, its nothing like I expected!" I guess when you have a picture like Dave did in your head you would be pleasantly surprised to see a beautiful clean incision across the chest. Dave pictured something like the doctor grabbing my breast, pulling it out and taking a machete, hacking it off and leaving it like that to heal, so of course he was surprised to see a beautiful little non existent breast! And I was happy to see that he was pleased.
This is me, I am beautiful, happy, content and ready to rule life!
Its 9:00 at night and I am finally ready to reveal what is under the dressing to myself, my family, and my husband. My mom and I go to the washroom and take the dressing off. I am AMAZED, rather intrigued actually and a part of me even thinks its rather beautiful. This is a beautiful thing, this is health!
I call Dave in and ask him if he is ready and he says yes. When I open my nightgown and reveal it to him he says "wow, its nothing like I expected!" I guess when you have a picture like Dave did in your head you would be pleasantly surprised to see a beautiful clean incision across the chest. Dave pictured something like the doctor grabbing my breast, pulling it out and taking a machete, hacking it off and leaving it like that to heal, so of course he was surprised to see a beautiful little non existent breast! And I was happy to see that he was pleased.
This is me, I am beautiful, happy, content and ready to rule life!
October 14, 2011
Surgery Day
Today is October 14, 2011. I wake up at 5:00 am with butterflies in my stomach knowing that within an hour I will be admitted into the hospital. My wonderful husband wakes up and wraps his arm around me and kisses me good morning, we lay there for five minutes and take in the moment between us.
6:00 am I am admitted to Day Surgery Unit 22 at the Peter Laugheed Hospital. I change into my gown and relax in Dave's arms waiting to go to the OR. I am the first one in for surgery that day. Hours go by and slowly things are happening, I get my IV inserted, paper work filled out, all the good stuff. at 8:50 I kiss my husband goodbye and sob on my way to the OR feeling sorry for the lady driving my bed, however, she is so sweet and understanding, everyone around me at this time feels like my family.
The OR is just as scary as it looks on TV, there are bright lights and its a large room with a small little bed in the middle. I hop on over to the OR bed and try lighten the mood by laughing with the nurses and doctors. Dr. Kanashiro comes in and does her speech...it goes a little something like this...
I am Dr. Kanashiro
You are Beige Plotts
You are having a full Left Mastectomy, correct?
Yes
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
That is all that I remember until I woke up in recovery and was wheeled back to see my beautiful husbands face greet me at my bedside. A short visit from Dave, my mom and dad and I was ready for another nap! Later that day another visit from all of them including Burgandy and my best friend Ash. I am in good spirits, laughing and joking and generally feel great!
Dr. Kanashiro came to visit me in the Day Surgery Unit with the best news we could have ever heard. "The surgery went well, the lymph nodes were not affected". The only thing she said was that it was black however, but there was no cancer in it. THANK YOU GOD!
About 3:30 that day I was sitting up in bed and see a lady being wheeled in from recovery, it is none other than the friend I met the day before during my Scintography- Her name was Brenda.
Brenda and I talked alot that day and the next morning. She has two children - 14 years old and 7 years old and I hope that her daughter and Burgandy will be able to help each other through this journey.
At 6:00 am the day after surgery us three women in Unit 22 were wide awake and feeling rather chatty, we had the nurses open our curtains and began chatting each others ears off. There was myself, Brenda and our other neighbor Kris who was a 67 year old vibrant woman who had already undergone her chemotherapy and just underwent her double mastectomy. Kris was an inspiration like non other with her English accent and upbeat attitude, she constantly told the nurses there was no need for pain killers that she felt no need to poison herself. When I was getting ready to leave Kris made sure to tell me and Brenda that if we had not yet seen the Grand Canyon to make sure that we do so shortly that there is nothing like seeing a bird rise from hundreds of feet below you and see it rise above your head. She made sure that we pay attention to the engineering when we go and wonder to ourselves how they get hot water and plumping in the bathrooms there, that nothing should go unnoticed and everything should be explored.
I exchanged my contact information with Brenda and promised to keep in contact with her, that we could do some education classes together, and I was on my way.
October 13, 2011
Scintography and Realization
Today I attended the PLC where I underwent Scintography, for all of you women out there, this is not a pleasant procedure and to put it lightly, they shoot two needles of die into your areola and it bubbles up in the skin underneath, you then get the pleasure of massaging your boob for ten minutes while they explain what will happen next (definitely the highlight of my day is a self boob massage - wheres my new husband when I need him :P
Upon my return to the PLC two hours later I looked down at the lady next to me and noticed the black canvas zip pouch that I also have, I looked up at her and said "lots of reading hey". Almost in shock that I knew what it was she started to talk, she to was going in for surgery tomorrow and would be undergoing a lumpectomy, we never got to talk any more but it never fails, everyone I talk to the question is always in the back of my mind - why am I undergoing more than them?
It was my turn, it was explained that I would get a five minute picture taken of myself, I am assuming this is the most unflattering picture that has ever been taken of me, and everyone around me knows I love the camera and those self shots for a new facebook profile picture everyday.
A big thank you goes out to the nurses at the PLC in the nuclear medicine department, I was teary eyed walking in, teary eyed changing, teary eyed talking and not once did their compassion for me fail. They were so understanding, caring and genuinely "real" that it made me feel comfortable and even gave me a hug at the end of it all.
Today, I realized what tomorrow will bring....
Upon my return to the PLC two hours later I looked down at the lady next to me and noticed the black canvas zip pouch that I also have, I looked up at her and said "lots of reading hey". Almost in shock that I knew what it was she started to talk, she to was going in for surgery tomorrow and would be undergoing a lumpectomy, we never got to talk any more but it never fails, everyone I talk to the question is always in the back of my mind - why am I undergoing more than them?
It was my turn, it was explained that I would get a five minute picture taken of myself, I am assuming this is the most unflattering picture that has ever been taken of me, and everyone around me knows I love the camera and those self shots for a new facebook profile picture everyday.
A big thank you goes out to the nurses at the PLC in the nuclear medicine department, I was teary eyed walking in, teary eyed changing, teary eyed talking and not once did their compassion for me fail. They were so understanding, caring and genuinely "real" that it made me feel comfortable and even gave me a hug at the end of it all.
Today, I realized what tomorrow will bring....
October 11, 2011
My Decision
October 11, 2011
Today I called Dr. Kanashiro's office to let them know that I have decided to sign a new consent, instead of having a partial mastectomy I have decided to undergo a full mastectomy, infact I am going back and forth on having a bi-lateral mastectomy and I have until Thursday to make this decision (2 days).
My mom made a good statement when she said "you cut down a thistle and the root is still there"
October 12, 2011
Today Dr. Kanashiro called me back to speak regarding my surgery. She confirmed that I will be having a full mastectomy as per my request and that we would sign a new consent on Friday morning before surgery. When she asked why I had changed my mind I simply stated that the literature she supplied me with made it very clear that the life time effects of radiation are always with you where as the effects of chemotherapy subside, she agreed.
However, I was also informed that should they discover the cancer has spread to four or more lymph nodes I will undergo radiation anyways. The sound of shakiness in her voice constantly worries me and I wonder if there is something they are not telling me, is this cancer worse than they are letting on?
Today I called Dr. Kanashiro's office to let them know that I have decided to sign a new consent, instead of having a partial mastectomy I have decided to undergo a full mastectomy, infact I am going back and forth on having a bi-lateral mastectomy and I have until Thursday to make this decision (2 days).
My mom made a good statement when she said "you cut down a thistle and the root is still there"
October 12, 2011
Today Dr. Kanashiro called me back to speak regarding my surgery. She confirmed that I will be having a full mastectomy as per my request and that we would sign a new consent on Friday morning before surgery. When she asked why I had changed my mind I simply stated that the literature she supplied me with made it very clear that the life time effects of radiation are always with you where as the effects of chemotherapy subside, she agreed.
However, I was also informed that should they discover the cancer has spread to four or more lymph nodes I will undergo radiation anyways. The sound of shakiness in her voice constantly worries me and I wonder if there is something they are not telling me, is this cancer worse than they are letting on?
October 09, 2011
Thank You to Everyone who made our dream come true
TARA GRANT
Tara is an amazing lady whom I had not met until the day of my wedding, we got in contact through a mutual friend connection and she kindly donated everything she could and made our dream a reality. Tara dabbles in many fields of interest including photography, wedding coordination, fitness competitions and many more!
On our special day Tara donated items to decorate the hall, her time and took pictures throughout the day.
Cancer has touched Tara's life as well, her husband is a cancer survivor. I cannot wait to bring blessings to peoples lives and be able to pay it forward as Tara did for me.
taraway@hotmail.com
(403) 948-4663
Tricia Mulek from Strathmore, AB made and donated our wedding cake.
triciascakes@gmail.com
FRIENDS AND FAMILYThe support system that I have is absolutley incredible!!!!
Special mention needs to go out to the two people who stood by our side on our wedding day as my Maid of Honor and Dave's best man, Ashley Spink and Mark Waldner! They have been by our side through thick and thin for the last 6 and a half years! We cannot thank them enough for everything they do for us!
Kait Dinunzio is an incredible individual who I had the honor of working with at Husky and developing a personal relationship outside of work. Kait put me in contact with Madigan who photographed our wedding and Tricia who made our cake.
On another note, Kait is also planning a benefit in my honor in November and has set up a website from her point of view www.frombeigetopink.yolasite.com
My amazing planning committee, Lisa Aitken, Jennifer Weiss, Julia Gross, Jennifer Raymond, Ashley Spink...I could not have done it without any of you!
And of course to the people who stood next to us Mark Waldner, Gideon Waldner, Jerry Gross, Ashley Spink, Holly Stevenson and Burgandy Reeves, there is a reason you were all next to us that day.
Everyone else that was involved and as well as everyone who could not be in attendance but absolutely was not forgotten that day, thank you for being a part of our lifes!
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